The life changing event of motherhood is eternal. You are forever re-identified with this new portion of who you are. That’s amazing, incredible, awesome, and might scare you more than a little.
You aren’t who you were yesterday. The event of bringing a baby into the world has changed your heart and soul.
“My heart now lives on the outside of my body… my heart is concealed in the flesh and bones of my daughter.”
How can you ever be the same human now that your heart is outside of your body? But you are still who you are. You are still Emma, Joy, Samantha, or Caitlin.
The never ending balancing act is just that.
You balance these new sides of you. The side of you that is a mother, the side that is a lover, and the side that is you without anyone else.
Each of those 3 personas connect to the other. Finding sole identity as a mother, will leave your partner and yourself neglected.
Knowing yourself in each of these regions supports the development of your children. They see you, and watch your every move, even when we don’t think they do. They will likely emulate the person you are.
That means your relationships teach your child how to handle their own relationships.
Your relationship with yourself, your self discovery, is a model your children will follow. If you want children who value themselves, without an egotistical view, you should show them how to do it.
Life is all about eb and flow.
So if you find yourself giving an uneven amount of work in one area, let that balance it out as needed. If you know yourself, but your relationship is struggling, meet more of that need. Spend more time together, involve your partner in more of your life.
Remember to give yourself patience and love, as this task is far from easy.
Show your children how important it is to forgive yourself. Be forgiving and loving with yourself as you would with your own child. Keep in mind that you are as human as everyone else, you are just still figure it out.
As you set the example, let your actions and words speak loudly to your children.
Because you want children who are full rounded happy individuals, you play the balance act of being a wife, mother, and human.